Journey "home"

Summer has given up her fight to the warm colors and cool temperatures of fall in America.  Today, as our plane left Greenville, SC, Cadence marveled as she was looking down on the clouds underneath her feet, "The clouds are down us, they are not up us."   The two day journey back to the other side of the ocean, dragging a three year old, three carry-ons and 8 footlockers has begun.  It has been such a sweet summer of priceless memories, and it is sad to see our summer end, knowing that it will be around 3 years before we pass this way again.  Three years until our feet touch American soil and our faces feel a temperature below 70 degrees.  Three years until the leaves change colors again and we scramble to find our sweaters.    And three years is a long time when you are stuck in a perpetual summer on the equator, days away from family and friends on the other side of the earth.  As we leave the "first world" and all of its comforts, including the people that we love, our hearts are heavy. Yet our call has not changed, even though the temperature here in America has.  Please pray for our safety and our patience as we travel with a very active little one.  Pray for favor in the eyes of the immigration officer that we will meet upon arrival in Indonesia…that he would not cause trouble for us regarding our temporary visa and our truckload of luggage.    

Fairy Cadence at age 18 mo

& this year at age 3 

Happy Father's Day!

Here's to our hero, the best dad in the world, who celebrated his 32nd trip around the sun this year!

 If Cadence could write a blog post, it would go something like this:  "I love my Daddy because...

He fixes my hair

He teaches me how to climb trees

He is teaching me basic hygiene skills

He holds me when I cry

He plays dress up with me

He hides easter eggs for me

He lets me take his picture (with mom's camera)

Mother's Day

I hate Mother's day.  It reminds me of the babies that I didn't get to mother, or hold, or love...the babies I lost through miscarriage.  And while I consider myself incredibly blessed to be Cadence's Mommy, silently I mourn the fact that my other children were taken from me far too soon.  I would never have written that into the epic story of my life, but I do not hold the pen.

I heard about a family recently who tragically lost their one year old.  I envy them.  What I wouldn't give for an entire year with each of my children, to assure them that I love them...to delight in each of them, to permanently ingrain the details of their little faces into my memory forever, to have the closure of a body to bury at the end of a life, regardless of how short.  The English poet, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote that "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  I do rejoice for the months I had with my children...the anticipation and expectancy and the joy over being trusted with a little soul were some of the highlights of my existence.  I also realize that no amount of time would have ever been enough...the mother who lost her one year old wishes she could have just a little more time, as does the mother who lost her 34 year old daughter.  Life is breathlessly short regardless of how many trips you take around the sun.

This week a dear friend unexpectedly lost her mom.   Even though she lived her 70 years of life well, and is now fully alive with Jesus, her absence on this earth is profound.  It forces me to think of my own finite in this world.  If I were to die tomorrow, my two year old would have no memory of my presence in her life.  There is so much that I wouldn't want to go unsaid.  So today as she tore through the house, redecorating it with an entire can of wet wipes, I decided to start a letter to her of the things I would want her to know.  I was given a "Mother's Journal" by Nana (Jody's grandmother) the year that Cadence was born (and the same year that Nana rushed off to Heaven).  In it I have recorded her milestones and quirky perceptions on life from the perspective of someone who is brand new.  I have now added an ongoing entry that I will add to as things come to me that I would want Cadence to know.  Everyone should do this, really, to celebrate the days that we have on this earth and beloved people that will be left behind when we are gone.  Mine started like this:

Dear Cadence,
If I were to die tomorrow, I want you to know...

I wanted you with every cell of my being, and loved you to the best of my ability.

I hated mornings, but they got much brighter when you came along, bounding into my bedroom before dawn each morning, energetically greeting the new day and bringing new light into my life.

I prayed every night that you would outlive me and thanked God for another day as your mommy.

Being your mommy was one of my richest blessings in life.

I usually chose comfort over couture, much to the chagrin of your Aunt KK.  It is ok to be yourself.

I loved to cook, creating delicacies out of thin air to share with others.  I hope you will find your own passions and use them to serve other people...and think of me when you create.

You have the best daddy in the whole wide world...that is what attracted me to him when we first met (that and of course his incredible hair!).  He was my soul mate.  I hope that you will find yours and not settle for any old boy that comes along.

My love languages were quality time and acts of service.  Find yours and use them to glorify God.

Sometimes after you had gone to sleep at night, when I snuck into your room to lay my hands on you and pray for you, I would pick you up and hold you, wishing that you wouldn't grow up so fast.

God made you and has a plan for your life.  Find it and pursue it passionately.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.  Live a life of gratitude.

Love,

Mommy

XOXO

Fun in the Sun

Unlike where most of you live, here on the equator it is hot and sunny EVERY SINGLE DAY of the year.  Sure, we get rain for an hour or so after lunch half of the year, but the sun comes right back out to dry up all the rain.  While we really miss cool weather and different seasons, we have a lot of fun in the summer heat.  Any day of the year, we can: 

host an outdoor tea party for our friends

Lay in the yard on a picnic blanket

 

Explore unchartered waters and undiscovered shorelines

Play in the pool 

Eat a popsicle...an indulgence Cadence partakes of at least twice daily

Play outside with our friends

Go to a black sand beach

Slather our friends with sunscreen...this happened while I was making dinner one night.  I came into the living room to discover that Cadence had found my special face sunscreen and emptied the tube on her bunnies.  "I take duh bunnies to de beach." she announced as I walked into the room.  The black one ran away shortly afterwards...presumably to the beach!

On entertaining an immobile two year old

It really threw us for a loop when our super active little Cadence "broke" her leg.  It turned out, after consulting two more doctors that the first doctor had misdiagnosed her growth plate for a hairline fracture...medical care in a third world country can be exhausting as you learn quickly to do your own research and not trust your first diagnosis.  None the less, she was unable to walk and refused to put any weight on her leg for 8 days.  How on earth can any sane person be expected to entertain a two year old that suddenly can't walk?  

We watched every kid movie we owned 57 times.  We read books for hours.  We took baths (she didn't have a permanent cast).  We ate popsicles.  We colored.   We went for stroller rides around the neighborhood.  But by day two we had exhausted our resources.  Pets seemed like a good idea, at the time.  But entertaining a two year old all day proved to be too great a task for any one animal.  This one ran away and never came back.

Which forced us to explore options available in our yard.  Frogs were fun because they were the same size at the fisher price little people, except better because they were alive.  But that brought us back to the issue of not wanting to play with Cadence and being able to hop away at a whim.  Haven't seen this guy since he moved off the "farm".

 Our place is the weekend home for a local college guy, whom Cadence adores.  He was so sweet to sit with her and play with her when she could not walk.  He would pluck ants from the tree and bring them to her to torture.  Once he even found her a praying mantis!

In a moment of desperation, Jody handed her the camera and gave her a quick photo shooting session.  She shot a lot of frames, but this was her best.

Easter Bunny at a whole new Level!

March 27 Cadence fell and broke her leg.  The doctor called it a hairline fracture but said it was so small that it didn't need to be wrapped.  Every day she gets more mobile.  She is now at the speed of a normal child.  Every time we turn around, she is already somewhere else.
Haven't you always wanted to get real bunnies in your Easter basket?  They don't last long at our house, but what a great Easter present!

Easter

Cadence entered the living room today to find bunny tracks leading to her basket. I decided that I had always wanted to get cute, fluffy, baby animals for easter (and never did) so this was my chance to live vicariously through my child. Cadence fractured her leg earlier this week while playing on a playground. It has slowed her down quite a bit, but she regained her mobility as she scooted, on her bum, across the floor to her Easter basket. It wasn't the traditional Easter egg hunt that I had envisioned for this year, but there is always next year. The bunnies were troopers and even left their own little treat for Cadence in the basket. It was not chocolate. As fun as it was to get live animals, I think that the most exciting find of the day was the CHOCOLATE!

Favorite things

Just south of the equator, the rainy season is coming to a close. We spend the rainy days inside where Cadence loves to watch movies...especially with her friends. Her favorite is "Flicka". She loves her bath times so much that we give her several baths per day. When it is 90 degrees and 80% humidity, there is nothing better than water play. Our bathtub is actually outside so we treat it like a small pool. We add props to hold her attention...this is the easter bath. Cadence loves getting dressed up...and even better, dressing others up! She loves to paint. We only do this outside as she has an affinity for painting anything BUT the canvas. Cadence loves to play in the rain and splash in the puddles. She likes to get dirty. Here I caught her with the sunscreen. Cadence lives to make people laugh. The other night at the dinner table, while entertaining a family friend, she stuck a small flower, from the table, in her nose. This got such a great reaction from her audience that she did it a second time...but she inhaled and disappeared in her nose. We haven't seen it since. I was too stunned to take a picture. I'll try to be more prepared next time.

Peek a Boo!

This week I posted this new picture of cousin Harper, Jordan's sister's daughter, on the fridge.

Since we live half a world away from our family, we try to keep current photos around so that Cadence won't "forget" the people who love her. While I was in the kitchen talking to a local friend, Cadence started playing peek-a-boo with her cousin Harper's photo. My friend explained to Cadence that even though she could see her, Harper could not see Cadence and respond to her because she was only a photo. Cadence looked at my friend and simply said, "Malu Dia." (Harper is just shy!)

I just realized that it is nearly February and I still haven't posted Christmas pictures. Sorry Grandparents.

We decorated cookies on Christmas eve, as a family.

Then we ate them for breakfast, along with cupcakes for Jesus' birthday and sausage balls.

Cadence had fun opening all of her gifts and we were blessed to have a good enough internet connection to SKYPE with both sets of grandparents.

Thanks Aunt Amy and Uncle Justin for the new clothes!

When you live in the tropics, surrounded by millions of hindus who don't celebrate Christmas, it is always a challenge to make it "feel" like Christmas. We improvise the best that we can. Jody called this "Our best tree so far!"

Cadence still tells us "Merry Christmas!" at least once a day!